Living with a High-Functioning Alcoholic: How to Provide Proper Support

Recognizing the problem may be a challenge because most high functioning alcoholics will either be in denial or unaware of their problem. Living with a functioning alcoholic husband, wife, family member, or friend may be challenging and complex, but you can still help them make progress towards recovery.

Helping them realize the problem is an important first step. While they may be able to hold down a job and maintain a healthy social life right now, it is only a matter of time before they see the negative consequences of their addiction. As a loved one of a person with functioning alcoholism, you need to support them to the best of your abilities.

Drinking alcohol excessively is the root of the problem, but there are many factors that go into the development of alcohol use disorder. Therefore, educating yourself and learning everything you can about alcohol addiction is an important step.

You need to understand that alcoholism is a disease. Just like other forms of addiction, it is a chronic and relapsing disorder that requires proper medical attention. Educating yourself on these topics will help eliminate any existing biases toward those with alcoholism. Unfortunately, the stigma surrounding addiction and rehab still persists today. This stigma usually prevents people from seeking the help that they need.

Even you may have certain preconceptions about it and may therefore treat your loved one a certain way based on your beliefs.

Stigma usually stems from ignorance, misunderstanding, and a lack of information. In order to provide the help that your loved one needs, you have to support them from a place of love and understanding.

Learn about the physical, psychological, and emotional aspects of addiction. This can help you approach the situation with empathy and a better understanding of what they are going through.

Understanding high-functioning alcoholism enables early intervention. If you can identify the signs and symptoms, you may be able to help the person seek treatment before their condition worsens and causes more serious health, social, and psychological consequences.

If you have a friend, family member, or colleague who is struggling with high-functioning alcoholism, educating yourself can help you provide appropriate support.

If you want to guide your loved one towards treatment, effective communication is the key and this is where all efforts moving forward will begin.

Initiate calm and non-confrontational conversations about their drinking behavior. Express your concern for their well-being and the impact their drinking may have on themselves and others. Again, this needs to come from a place of love rather than resentment or anger.

Alcohol addiction is naturally a very sensitive issue. Don’t initiate a conversation when they are drunk as this will not be very productive. Talk to them while they are sober so that they would be a lot more receptive.

Choosing the right setting is important. Find a quiet, comfortable place where you can have an uninterrupted conversation. Make sure the atmosphere is conducive to open dialogue.

Approach the conversation with empathy and a non-judgmental attitude. Remember that high-functioning alcoholism is a complex issue, and the person may be dealing with their own struggles. Frame your thoughts and concerns using “I” statements. For example, say “I feel worried about your drinking” instead of “You have a problem”.

Share your observations and concerns about their drinking behavior. Be specific about instances or behaviors that have raised concerns for you.

You also need to actively listen to what they say. Give them a chance to respond without interrupting. Listen to their perspective and try to understand their point of view. This will show that you value their thoughts and feelings.

If the person is finding it hard to accept that they have a problem just based off of your observations, you can use screening questions such as the ones used in the alcohol use disorders identification test (AUDIT). This is a 10-question screening tool recommended by the National Institute for Health and Care Excellence (NICE) to help establish a drinking problem.

It includes questions like:

How often do you have a drink containing alcohol?

How often during the last year have you found that you were not able to stop drinking once you had started?

How often during the last year have you had a feeling of guilt or remorse after drinking?

Has a relative or friend, doctor or other health worker been concerned about your drinking or suggested that you cut down?

Remember that discussions about sensitive topics like high-functioning alcoholism can be emotionally charged. Approach the conversation with love, compassion, and a desire to help, rather than to judge or control.

If they are receptive to your suggestions, encourage them to seek professional help for their alcohol addiction. You can suggest therapy, counseling, or support groups like Alcoholics Anonymous. A trained therapist or counselor can help them address the underlying causes of their addiction and develop coping strategies.

Tell them that even high-functioning alcoholism can pose risks to their physical, emotional, and mental well-being. Seeking professional help will lead to a more accurate diagnosis.

A qualified healthcare professional can accurately diagnose the severity of the alcohol use disorder. High-functioning alcoholism might not always be immediately obvious to the individual or their loved ones, so making a proper diagnosis is essential.

Professional help also ensures that treatment plans are tailored to the individual’s specific needs, circumstances, and level of functioning. This personalized approach increases the effectiveness of treatment and the likelihood of recovery.

They can even monitor and address any potential health issues that may arise due to alcohol consumption. If needed, a medical professional can oversee the detoxification process to manage withdrawal symptoms safely and minimize discomfort.

Overall, professional help increases the chances of achieving and maintaining long-term recovery. It equips individuals with the tools they need to lead healthier, fulfilling lives without relying on alcohol.

Here are some treatment approaches that are commonly used for AUD:

Medical Detoxification: If an individual is physically dependent on alcohol, a medical detoxification process may be necessary to safely manage withdrawal symptoms. Detox should always be conducted under medical supervision. It involves gradually lowering the person’s alcohol intake while their withdrawal symptoms are managed by medical professionals. Medications may be administered to keep cravings and withdrawal symptoms under control. This program is designed to keep patients safe during the withdrawal process.

Medications: In some cases, medications may be necessary to reduce alcohol cravings and withdrawal symptoms. Keep in mind that alcohol use disorder tends to cause severe and dangerous withdrawal. Acamprosate, disulfiram, and naltrexone are commonly used for people with AUD.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): This type of therapy helps individuals identify and change negative thought patterns and behaviors associated with alcohol abuse.

Motivational Enhancement Therapy (MET): MET focuses on increasing motivation to change behaviors and make healthier choices.

Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT): DBT combines cognitive behavioral techniques with mindfulness to help individuals manage emotions and improve relationships.

Supportive Psychotherapy: This type of therapy provides a safe space for individuals to discuss their feelings, experiences, and challenges related to alcohol use. These therapies help address the root causes of addictive behavior, allowing the individual to recognize and cope with their various triggers and stressors.

Support Groups: Participating in support groups like Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) or SMART Recovery can provide a sense of community, understanding, and encouragement for those trying to overcome alcohol abuse.

Remember that seeking help is not a sign of weakness but rather a sign of strength. Everyone’s recovery journey is different, and that is why the best rehab programs offer personalized care.

If you talk to them and they are unwilling to acknowledge the problem, you may have to take a more drastic approach. You should consider setting up an intervention.

An intervention involves a group of concerned individuals expressing their feelings to the person about their drinking and encouraging them to seek help.

However, staging an intervention for someone struggling with high-functioning alcoholism requires careful planning, sensitivity, and the involvement of supportive loved ones.

Who you involve in the intervention team is important. Make sure you recruit people who are liked by the addicted individual and ones that they are likely to listen to. Do not add people who may sabotage the intervention plan or enable the person.

The intervention team should include family members, close friends, and other loved ones who are genuinely concerned about the person’s well-being.

It’s advisable to consult a professional such as a therapist, counselor, or intervention specialist. They can provide guidance on the best approach and help you understand what to expect during the intervention process.

Decide on the date, time, and location. Prepare what you want to say and how you want to express your concerns in a non-confrontational manner. Each member of the intervention team will write their statements expressing how the person’s addiction has affected them personally, and they will stick with this script during the meeting.

Provide specific instances where the individual’s drinking has caused problems or concerns. This helps the person see the impact their behavior is having on themselves and others.

Research and present treatment options, such as therapy, counseling, support groups, and rehabilitation programs. Arrange the treatment option ahead of time. This will be presented to the addicted person during the intervention meeting and they will have to accept it on the spot.

Let the individual know that you care about them, but also outline the boundaries and consequences that the team will enforce should they refuse to accept treatment. This may include limiting contact, withdrawing financial support, kicking them out of the house, or other measures that show you take their condition seriously.

Your loved one’s reaction may range from denial to anger. Stay calm and supportive, reiterating your concern and willingness to help. Avoid getting into arguments or heated discussions. A professional interventionist can help keep the intervention on the right track.

Staging an intervention is a delicate process, and there’s no guarantee that it will succeed. If they accept treatment, be ready to support them throughout the recovery process. If they refuse, be ready to enforce the consequences that you established.

Consequences are important because you do not want to enable their alcohol abuse. Enabling them will only keep them addicted and prevent them from making any progress towards recovery

Do not cover up for them, make excuses, or minimize the impact of their drinking. While it may be challenging, allowing natural consequences to occur can be a powerful motivator for change.

Establish clear boundaries regarding their drinking behavior and its effects on your life. Communicate what behaviors are unacceptable and the consequences of crossing those boundaries. Be prepared to follow through with these consequences if necessary.

Not only will you be taking care of them in the long run, this will also benefit you. You do not want to be manipulated. High-functioning alcoholism can be deceptive because the individual might appear to have their life together despite their alcohol abuse. However, their behavior can still have negative effects on those around them including you. Setting boundaries helps protect your emotional and mental well-being.

By holding them accountable for their actions, they will know that their behavior has repercussions and they might think twice before drinking excessively. At the end of the day, this will also improve your relationship by ending codependency.

Establishing boundaries shows that you care about their well-being and are willing to support them, but not at the cost of compromising your own mental and emotional health. Boundaries provide opportunities for the individual to reflect on their actions and consequences. This self-reflection can be a step toward recognizing the need for change.

If they do make an effort towards their own sobriety, you need to acknowledge it and celebrate their successes with them.

High-functioning alcoholics often excel in various areas of their life, but you should also celebrate their journey to sobriety, including their milestones.

Celebrating successes and milestones is important for anyone, including those who are dealing with high-functioning alcoholism. This provides positive reinforcement for their efforts to manage their alcoholism and maintain their responsibilities. This reinforcement can strengthen their motivation to continue their efforts towards recovery.

It’s also a great boost for their self-esteem and self-worth. Despite their high-functioning nature, they may develop issues with their confidence due to their inability to control their own drinking habits. Celebrating with them may help with their feelings of shame and guilt caused by their alcohol dependence. Fostering a more positive self-perception can go a long way in the fight against addiction.

Celebrating milestones provides a sense of progress and growth. It reminds them why they are working on their sobriety. It encourages them to stay committed to their goals.

Recovery from alcohol addiction is a challenging journey that takes time. Progress might be slow, and there may be setbacks along the way, but you have to be patient and offer support without enabling the addiction.

During this process you need to keep taking care of yourself. Prioritize your own well-being by engaging in activities that bring you joy and relaxation.

Look after your own health. That includes both your physical and mental health. You can’t support your loved one if you are physically ill or struggling with a mental health disorder yourself. At some point, there is only so much you can do. You have to remember that their sobriety is not your responsibility. You can guide them and support their recovery journey, but at the end of the day, they will make their own decisions. It is not your fault if they do not want to become sober.

Take a break and pursue the things you love. Spend time with other loved ones to make sure you’re not pouring all your time and energy on just one relationship.

If the situation becomes unbearable or unsafe, it’s important to prioritize your own safety and well-being. If the person’s drinking is causing you significant distress, you might need to consider distancing yourself or seeking professional guidance on how to proceed.

High-functioning alcoholism can create a cycle of substance abuse and mental illness. People may cope with stress and mental health problems by drinking, and in turn, their drinking habits may exacerbate or cause other mental health issues.

Remember, you can support and encourage your loved one, but you cannot control their choices. Ultimately, the decision to seek help and overcome addiction lies with them. Look for a rehab near you today to learn more about addiction treatment options for people with high-functioning alcoholism.

Treatment is an addicted individualʼs best option if they want to recover. Beating an addiction not only requires eliminating the physical dependence, but also addressing the behavioral factors that prevent them from wanting to get better. Simply quitting may not change the psychological aspect of addiction. Some people quit for a while, and then take drugs or alcohol again, only to overdose because they did not detox properly. Recovery involves changing the way the patient feels, thinks, and behaves.